The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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