I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She needs sedatives and a leash
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
