wakey wakey hands off snakey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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