I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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