he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
