Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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