So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
