I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
