normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He better not be in your backpack
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
