It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
