I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
