I cockslap morals
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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