oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
