tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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