one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The uberlube is also flammable
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
