I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
