If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
