this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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