dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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