I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
