Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
