I forgot how hot balto sounded
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
