She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
