who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this will be a night to untag.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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