she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
