i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
