I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
