i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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