Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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