i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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