Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
