I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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