that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
