He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i out mim tonsoeep
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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