Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
