do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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