i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
