did you get engaged???
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
