dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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