I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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