your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
