Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
