Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
