It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
