i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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