and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
