Midget sex pt 2 tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
