it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
