went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
