Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
