so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
