Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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