they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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