Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
