Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
