FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
