Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
