I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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