im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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