I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
