is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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